Delayed posting stream of consciousness 

This summer I know it’s been a long time to post and it’s been one of those mixed reviews in posting. 

Larry left for camp for 6 weeks to be a regualar kid……He had  an amazing experience kids from 38 states and 32 countries  all learning basics for respect as well as having an absolute blast he did catch a cold that then lead to a sinus infection then lead to bilateral Pneumonia !!!! 

Very scary way to end camp as  well he wasn’t taking his probiotic wasn’t getting enough sleep , water, there’s lots and lots of reasons that I kid doesn’t really take care of themselves … but when you’ve been through waht he has I understand not wanting I to run to the nurse …..however the truth is this is also a scary diagnosis for a kid that has had the journey he has had.

folks helped talk me off the cliff all I wanted to do to get him from Indiana to Arizona then have the proper testing done to confirm it’s just pneumonia , we started anabiotics, he got his oxygen levels up to fly, we got them to UMC banner and yes it was just pneumonia prescription: rest medication and fluids

Exhale

It’s interesting as we walk through this life we could find things that absolutely shocked and disappointed really don’t encourage us to have and then we can you uncover recognize that show us tremendous joy

That being said in recent days weeks months I find that some days my recognition of fear outweighs my recognition of joy is it our own internal check our own internal feeling our own ego our own Life or is it simply that some days there’s just not that much to celebrate, it’s just not that much and maybe we do need to sometimes recognize the unkindness hatred and attempt to improve on it 

as I thought about this I found that many days with sometimes I am hit with something. I truly choose avoidance and attempt to just find something that’s happy or brings me hope and I wonder if instead I’m supposed to step into that situation a little bit more to create change something to think about today in this bullying political environment

Jeff and I find ourselves in the first response when someone has a friend family member coworker that is dealing with cancer whether it be their parents their spouse their friends their child 

the desperate call to what can I do, what can we do 

it’s interesting how the two of us respond to that question a bit differently and yet very similar 

first responsders need to do something that would help them not have to think about what has just happened 

whether that pick up groceries 

take dinner 

take lunch 

get gas in the car 

walk the dog 

feed the fish 

bring the mail in 

clean out the fridge  

Pull the trash cans on trash day 

the things that seem like those are routine are the things that are so disruptive when you are attending to  the end. 

And it also reminds us and how blessed we are that reminds us of all the people that dropped us off helped us in our journey
Uneventful start of school  

Larry was there locker turn into supplies turned into school work picked him up he had a great day we’re now two weeks in and he’s in seventh grade he’s thriving he’s organized he’s understanding what it means to be a regular seventh grader he’s growing and he is goofy joy! 

We are absolutely celebrating every minute we are absolutely joyful at the regular things that occur. This is his first first day of school 

since 2011 he’s missed for first days of school 

that’s too bad 

he’s also missed three last days of school 

that’s too bad too 

but is he says to me,

‘ Mom, there’s always another day 

we can always say that there’s another first day 

we can always celebrate on another day, whatever day we need to we can make the rules just like mom you say we can celebrate my birthday any day 

just like mom you say we can have Thanksgiving any day as long as were all together 

being thankful mom this is how you do it 

so even though yeah it’s really cool that I get to have the first day of school with everybody else 

I’ve also had a great first days of school because you made me recognize that it doesn’t matter. ‘
We went to Banner/Diamond Children’s on Wednesday , September 27th, for a f/u. Call it superstitious or just plain needing to hold on to the regular …..I needed to wait and hear that we are out of the woods from this summer before I could sit and write again. I heard this ! I also heard…..Jaunary 27, 2017 he will be a survivor ! And April 18, 2017 he will be 2 years post chemo thus he will only come in every 3 months ! Then 6 months and thus by the time he starts high school just once year. Yes, the rear view mirror is getting smaller and the front windshield bigger !!! 

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One thought on “Delayed posting stream of consciousness 

  1. Thoughts, feelings, words and more words. Across what younwrite I see the person, the family, and I rejoice. We all live with what we live with, and we are all on this journey together. Much love

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