Do you ever go to sleep and think or pray I want to wake up tomorrow with no surprises, no email in my inbox, and no crisis on the tv?
I sometimes wish for the ‘Groundhog Day’ day.
In the last few weeks
Jeff fell deathly sick and I shipped him off to a hotel until he was no longer contagious.
One of our assistance fell ill and was out of commission as well.
The market decided to take a dive and then recover until the next day.
People in my life continue to make choices that are good for them and yet somehow affect my life in a way that I must make a change.
Oh and then simply living with a 9 and 11 year old, running a business, having friends, doing my community involvement, and being present.
Groundhog day sounds pretty good.
There is a point in the movie when Bill Murray throws caution to the wind upon realizing that regardless of his actions it is all going to be the same the next morning.
What would you do differently if there were no consequences?
How would you handle people, circumstances, and life if the slate was wiped clean the next morning and there were no memories of your behavior?
I am not implying we go crazy but I am thinking that there are times, too many times, I sacrifice what I want to do for the sake of another because of their choice. Justified choice sure. Right to change also correct. However do I have to sacrifice what I was to do, where I was to be, for the good of ???
The short answer is yes I do. I am the mother, friend, sister, daughter, volunteer, leader, etc.
I prayed to be the mother. I hoped to have the experience and now that is my call, my duty, and my choice for the next 18 years to do the best I can do in that role. So other changes that occur that force me to change my course are necessary for this short time that they are part of my life, in my home, and under my care. I celebrate the opportunity. I cherish the time. I welcome the chaos.
Saying all that, I am free to have a 10 minute pity party every once in awhile as I miss the perceived fun , thoughts of what I am missing, and the
overwhelming feeling of being left out.
I will survive.
Quick Larry update: Well, it is not his foot, meaning the x-rays came back fine, counts are great, and he continues to show strong signs of health…thus it is the chemo staying in his feet and hands that is affecting his abilities and his activities of daily living. We are hopeful with the increase of physical activity in the spring of swimming, basketball, baseball and indoor soccer the chemo will leave his body. It is a constant battle and it hangs out in the hands and feet causing numbness, tinkling, and overall discomfort. He rarely complains and he pushes through but it is obvious at times it hurts and /or he limits himself. His coaches are amazing in being patient, kind, and pulling him when needed. We are blessed. Continued prayers for uneventful days. God bless you and yours on this day.